Mall and Match

The hardest thing is being just borderline pretty solid. It’s like, if you are not attractive, you know it, and you deal with it. Like I saw a dude the other day with a fucked up hairdo, he was like 100 pounds overweight and had a megadeth t-shirt on. He looked like a mess. This dude, he’s not thinking he can hook up with some hottie, he’s just scoutin out the next cheeseburger (or 10). That’s easy. You don’t have to fret about whether you have a chance or not, you just know you don’t. I’m in the unfortunate position of knowing that I have a chance, and thus feeling like I need to make it happen and that I fucked up if I don’t make it happen. I know it takes more than 2 to tango, or something like that (Billy Madison, I love that line). It’s just I think I’m pretty awesome, so it’s a bit of a shocker when things don’t work out for me. It’s all about how you slice it up. You could say, I’m cool, if I just hang out, things will work out. You could say, I’m awesome, I need to go out and make things happen. It’s crazy. I wrote this yesterday, and I know what I was trying to say then, but I don’t have the same inspiration right now. All I was trying to say is that things are easier when you have low expectations and harder when you have high expectations. I need to figure out how to lower my expectations on myself and everyone else. I need to be a bit more chill. I think. I’m definitely tempted to put the dating on hold…

The reason I prolly won’t put the dating on hold is that I got an extension from Match.com. They have some kind of loser guarantee where if you shockingly don’t meet someone in 6 months they’ll give you another six. Well my deal was set to expire around the 14th, so I started trying to contact match. I called like 4 times and I kept getting put on hold forever or one time I made it all the way through and I was waiting for an operator when the line went dead. Total hosing. So then I called and I just hit the button for new subscription. I got an operator in like 3 seconds. The dude was really nice and even though I didn’t qualify for the extension, he gave it to me anyway. It’s what you call taking pity on a loser who can’t get a woman on a website with like 50,000 women on it in a 25 mile radius (possibly more I dunno). I still have the match thing til March, and I have OKCupid forever it would seem, so I’ll stick with it. It’s just I don’t have any time. With the band, the board membership, football season, the kids, I just don’t have time to date.

On the dating tip. The date yesterday went really well, but there wasn’t really a spark. I sent the girl an e-mail and she was really cool about it. She wants to stay in touch and be friends. That’s fine with me. I started thinking about the punk girl from Match. She’s the only one left out of all the women that I was talking about like a week ago. Wow they come and go. I sent her an e-mail and I’d like to try to get together with her tomorrow. We’ll see. I was thinking about dropping the burlesque dancer a line. She sorta just let our e-mail conversation die, so I can try to rekindle that. Lots of crazy stuff going on. Tons of good shows coming up too, so I’d like to line up a girlie to take with. The other crazy thing about match, I did this test where they try to pinpoint a woman that will be love at first sight. Basically you pick out of a bunch of pictures and different types of women and then they match that data against people in your area. They must use face recognition software or something. I totally forgot I did the thing, and I go on my matches and there’s this woman who is like visually exactly what I’m looking for, my perfect match (looks wise). I go through her profile and it’s like Something about Mary, she likes sports, she golfs, she is totally smoking. Then I realize that she is one of my love at first sight matches. That shit worked like nobody’s business. That kinda freaked me out. I did not message the girl, she had seriously bitchy picky stipulations in her profile: NO KIDS, NO DIVORCEES, DON’T WASTE MY TIME!!! She seemed like kind of a bitch. I think she was looking for a younger dude too. I think she also might’ve been into Nickelback. It was crazy how beautiful she was though. And I’m guessing still is.

The other dating thing I should mention is that there is this girl from Wisconsin who is nutty hot, I sent her a message about how I love dairy products and she has checked out my profile a few times. I think she is on the fence. I can’t decide if I should send her another message and say, “hey let’s chat, I won’t bite, hard.” I don’t know how that would go over though.

I went to the outlet Mall on Monday. I went with my ps (I’m such a loser) and we got there like an hour after it opened. The outlet mall is kind of a scam. I think you can get better deals at TJ Maxx than at the outlet mall. I did manage to handle some business though. I needed some new jeans and shorts. My old jeans just don’t fit. I’ve lost like 15 lbs and now my jeans are like potato sacks. They’re all baggy and look like shit. So I got some new jeans at Levis. I think they are pretty alright. I just can’t bring myself to buy nice designer jeans. I think they look stupid and guys that wear them look like tools. I got two pairs of Levi 514s in size 34. They are not too tight, but they’re a little snug. They properly display my buttocks. I picked up a pair of shorts at Oakley. I actually tried on some 32s and got them on, but if I would’ve tried to pick something up off the ground, they would’ve shredded. I really dig the stuff at Oakley, they have cool clothes. Then I busted over to the gap. You get crazy deals at the gap. I got a pair of jean shorts for $8. I tried on 35s and they basically fell off. I went with 33s. They have a lot of room too, I dunno what is up with their sizing. When I was waiting in line at the Gap there were some Eastern Block women in front of me. I got to thinking about how they are probably used to fighting 5 people for a loaf of bread and now they get to go shopping and buy shit in America; what a dream. I bet they think it’s a dream.