In Through the Out Door

Good weekend. Good times. Well Friday was pretty chill. I had plans to go out on Saturday and watch the ND game with my bud, so I didn’t mind staying in on Friday. I went to the Sox game on Thurs, so I was pretty beat as I got like 4 hours of sleep on Thurs night. Just chilling on Friday also set me up to hit the Y on Saturday and get a proper work out in. I was pretty amped for my workout, maybe a little too amped. I did some bench, which was fun. The Y has a ton of different machines and I was really looking forward to hitting the arm curl machine. I get on there and I start pumping out reps. I feel pretty good and this machine really isolates your biceps, so you totally feel the burn. I get to my third set and I’m grinding out the reps (jeez do I sound like a meathead) and I sorta bob my head forward for momentum and I jacked myself in the head with the metal bar. I have to admit I kinda knocked myself silly. That was not fun. I shook it off and the adrenaline from working out made me not notice it, but that night I sorta had a weird headache. The headache went away after a few beers, then on Sunday it really hurt and felt weird and felt like it was radiating to the back of my head. I figured it was just a blood vessel that popped in my head and the blood was just pooling up in the back of my skull, no big deal. Still I was kind of out of it.

I think this blog is gonna jump around a bit. I’ll keep you guessing. I did want to talk about the idea of macking on women at all opportunities. I read something about it, and the guy laid out a pretty solid plan for getting to the point where you can pick up women everywhere. The problem with the plan is that it’s a long process and involves doing things that I don’t like to do. Namely, talking to strangers. Mom always said, “Don’t talk to strangers.” Well this guy has a plan and step one is to start talking to strangers, get good at gabbing with people. Talk to the old lady on the street, the guy at the supermarket, any random person you meet. I hate doing this. I hate small talk almost with a passion. I think the next step, once you get pretty comfortable talking to people, to start talking to women. I think he said to choose women that you’re not really attracted to so you aren’t nervous, just get used to talking to women. I dunno, eventually you work your way up to being crazy social and talking to hot women without a hint of fear. The plan just won’t work for me. Case and point. My buddy and I were out yesterday at Timothy O’tooles watching the bears game. We got sat down with these old biddies from Dallas. They were rooting for the Cowboys while we were rooting for the Bears. As soon as I saw these people I was thinking, “I’m not going to say a word to them.” Well my buddy must’ve taken his gregarious pills, cuz before he even sits down he says, “I bet you’re all wondering why I called this meeting.” Great line, it cracked me up. Then for the rest of the time he was putting the serious charm on these ladies. They were eating out of his hand. It was a classic example of something that I could do, but choose not to. I am actually rather adverse to that kind of kibitzing. I tried to throw some lines in there and at one point a woman said, “I like you guys, you’re funny.” To which I replied, “we also have giant penises.” Actually I didn’t. But I wish I would have. My head was hurting though and I was thinking that I might have a head injury.

Stepping in to the wayback machine, we go to Saturday night. Well Saturday night turned out to be rather strange. My aforementioned bud and I went out to Victory liquors to watch the ND game. We got there after the game had started and it was pretty packed. We decided to head to the back of the bar, which was even more packed. After standing there for a moment, my buddy says, “hey, is that Sheila (his old girlfriend).” I look up and she is looking at us. I know her, so I wave. She comes over. Hugs us. All that. A little awkward. She went back to her friends, and we basically just stood in the same spot and watched the game. It was fun, although the game took way too long, and ND ended up losing in heart-wrenching fashion. After the game, we said goodbye to Sheila, and hit the road. I really wanted to go to Metro to see Titus Andronicus. My bud was sorta shellshocked, so we made our way up to metro. Well we hit some stupid traffic and I’m like, “Is there a Cubs game tonight?” There were people everywhere on Clark Street; it was like fucking Mardi Gras. It def was not normal for a Saturday night with no Cubs game. We get up to Wrigley after like a half hour and it dawns on me. Dave Matthews band is playing. What a pain in the ass. As if I need another reason to hate DMB, they fucking cockblocked me when I was trying to see TA. Total bullshit. By the time we got up to Metro it was 1130. TA had to be on, I hadn’t parked, we didn’t have tickets. There was nowhere to park because the DMB idiots were all over the place. What to do… What to do.

I wanted to hear some good music. Two places came to mind. Delilah’s or Exit. We headed to Delilah’s. D’s plays good music and have a good beer selection. We drove by and it seemed a little crowded. I think it seemed crowded cuz there were tons of people milling about out front. Those people were probably smoking. It might not have been bad there. We cruised to exit anyway. Exit was pretty empty when we got there. A couple of seats at the bar were calling out to us. We sat down, grabbed a couple of beers and chilled. They were playing Aliens on the TVs, great movie. Alien is one of my favorite movies of all time, Aliens is pretty solid too. I get around to listening for the tunes, I’m noticing a trend. All female singers. I’m just like what is up? I like female singers, in fact a band I’m really digging right now, Camera Obscura has a female singer, but it gets old. Especially when it’s punk women screaming. I did hear a song that I love that I hadn’t heard in a while, Pretend we’re dead by L7. Classic. Other than that though, it was getting old. I asked the bartender what was up and she said, “It’s all angry lesbian music because we have an angry lesbian DJ.” So I went to talk to the DJ. I said, do you have Iggy and the Stooges? She was like no. That was that. Safe to say the music kinda sucked and it contributed to us bailing early.

One cool thing, well Exit always has weird stuff, and sometimes there’s something new or stupid or just tripped out. This time they had an Arcade-Style punching machine. The way the thing worked was, you put your quarter in and the punching bag drops down. It’s basically a large speedbag attached to a pole. You punch it as hard as you can and it flies back into the machine and it measures your power. The high score on the machine was 942. I have to say it was rather entertaining sitting there, drinking beer, and watching people play this game. There was one dude, who was kind of a punching machine hustler. He talked some old fat dude into taking him on. Well the young guy pops the thing and he got like an 800. Then old dude gets up there, he barely made square contact with the bag, he got like 400. Then old guy hands young guy a $5. Hustled. You would think fool me once shame on you, but this old man came back for more. Young guy blasted out like an 850, then old dude put up a pitiful 300, I think I could’ve sneezed on the thing and gotten better. I shouldn’t talk though. I didn’t play it cuz I def think it would mess up my already messed-up wrist. No use tempting fate with that one, discretion is the better part of valor. At one point, a really big dude comes in and he steps up to the machine. This guy looks like he knows what he’s doing. The dude squares up, rears back, and just hammers the machine, I said to my buddy, “That’s a new record, no question.” The whole machine was shaking as the meter counted up the power, 600, 700, 800, 900…918. Dude got robbed. That would’ve been over 1000, some of the power was lost because the machine was swaying all over the place. They need to put some spacers in back to keep it from rocking around. Oh well, you can’t beat fun at the old exit.