It takes a very steady hand...

I really don’t feel like I have much to say right now. That has never stopped me before though. So here I go. I don’t know if this is embarrassing or what. I guess there is a story here that probably doesn’t need to be told. I’m going to tell it. Back in the day (4 months ago), I was in heavy communication with this girl and we were basically all lined up to bump uglies. She was sending me naked pictures and it was basically a lock. So anyway. I’m talking to her and she’s like, “Yeah, I was hooking up with this guy and I put my hand down his pants, he had like a forest down there, it was a total turn off.” I’m like, “Oh.” I had never trimmed my nether regions. Ever. I saw no need. Everyone I ever hooked with seemed fine with it. It was natural. It was my own personal shower-scrunchi. Well finally the day arrived when I was supposed to go to this girl’s place, so I broke down and weed-whacked my shower scrunchi. It was kind of a bummer, but it was rather nice and breezy as well. As luck would have it, I didn’t make it over to her place, then the whole thing fell apart (I had to diss her) and we never hooked. That was like 3 or 4 months ago when I trimmed back the shrub, and what do you know, it basically had grown back by last weekend. I decided to give it another trim. Last time I used these barber scissors that I had lying around, so I went with that again. Everything was going pretty well. When you trim, you def flirt with danger, especially when you are using scissors. Um yeah. Last time with the scissors. I was just putting the finishing touches on my new ‘do when I snipped myself. It sucked pretty bad. I wasn’t sure what was up, the skin down there is so thin that I thought it was gonna bleed like crazy. It didn’t. I tried putting a band-aid on it, but that really doesn’t work due to the varying stages of shrivel that occur down there. I just basically had to let it go. I wasn’t sure what was up, and I had white undies on. By the end of the day, there were some blood stains in the undies. I put Neosporin on it like crazy, cuz the worst case scenario would be to have it get infected. It scabbed over the next day and was basically back to normal. I think the scab fell off today, so it healed in like 4 days. That’s pretty amazing. That area does get a lot of blood flow though, so maybe that aids the healing process. Yeah. I’m going to have to find a new way to weedwhack my shower scrunchi, that’s for sure.

On to brighter topics. Well not really brighter, but the online dating thing is proving to be a frustrating venture. The one woman I really like, we had a good date, we had some good e-mails, well she really has fallen out of touch. She seems to have a lot of technical problems, with e-mail, phone and text, so basically I have no way to get in touch with her. It’s actually rather comical. She doesn’t answer e-mails, so she def doesn’t have computer access. She has sent me a couple of texts that usually begin “I’m so sorry” and end with a sob story about how one of her devices (cell phone) is not working correctly. As I write this, I realize how much the whole thing strains credulity. I know it really does. I don’t know what my choices are right now. On one hand, I could mentally just give it up and decide that even if she does get in touch, that we’re done. That would be closure. Or I could just chill and when she gets in touch, I can just say “Oh I know you’re busy, I’m busy too, no big deal.” I’m leaning towards that. There’s also the possibility that she never gets a hold of me and that we are done. Well last week I mentioned that I had 5 women in contact with me (not physically unfortunately) and well that number has dwindled. The woman who tried to line me up as a hook-up, she’s gone. No worries. The burlesque dancer never answered my second message to her, she was not a good match anyway. She gone. I had to give one of the punk rockers the diss. She wasn’t really attractive and she wanted me to call her. I just bailed on that. I did exchange messages with the other punk girl, but I haven’t put any time into that, and it’s probably fizzling. Although, I should probably try to line something up with her next week. I got winked at by an African American woman with huge boobs. She’s really cute. I sent her a message, but she didn’t respond. She might not be a match member, either that, or she just wised up. It did say that she was into music in her profile, her one example of this fact, Chicago. That’s pretty awesome. I mean on some level. It’s like if you go through your whole list of favorite artists, you boil it all down to Chicago. Good times.

I’ve got a busy weekend coming up starting tomorrow. The boys have football practice or scrimmages, I don’t know. They’ve got practice tomorrow night and then we are going to the local high school football game. That should be fun. On Saturday we have scrimmages, and then on Sunday I’m going to see Teenage Bottlerocket with my buddy. I’m pretty fired up for that. I don’t know much of TB’s stuff, but what I know I dig, and they def play the style of music I’m into (not really much like Chicago). That’s about it. Keep on rocking.