Polarization

It’s easiest to write when you are feeling something. I think that is what people call inspiration. Well right now I’m feeling a little guilty. I was at lunch and we were talking about facebook. The people at work are really smart and they went to Ivy League schools and are interested in intellectual pursuits. So one guy says, “I’m friends with some of my high school teachers.” To which a girl replies, “oh that’s kind of cool.” To which I replied, “No it isn’t.” The girl proceeded to say that it was or something, and I said, “Well you guys are nerds, so I guess it is cool for you.” The thing is, I thought the fact that they were nerds was kind of a given, like I’m bald, I’m old, they’re nerds. Now I’m starting to think that maybe they didn’t consider themselves nerds. I thought being a nerd was cool right now. But seriously, I think this should be included in the definition of nerd. If you have a relationship with a teacher that lasts beyond when you are in that teacher’s class, you’re a nerd. I guess it kinda poops on teachers though cuz that says that teachers don’t form any lasting relationships with their students. Actually they do though, they form lasting relationships with nerds.



I kid because I care. I know people who still talk to their grade school teachers, which isn’t nerddom, it’s just plain creepy. I dunno. I’ve always been respectful of the teacher-student dynamic. They teach. I don’t pay attention. The bell rings, I leave. I guess when it comes down to it, teachers are nerds. Aren’t they? Even the coolest teacher is a nerd, I’m pretty sure on that. I dunno, teachers put it out there, and that usually opens you up to be criticized and judged. You can’t pull your same jokes, your same lines, the same gestures or whatever, and not be categorized. Whatever, I think teaching would be cool. I guess I would just have to accept that some people might consider me a nerd. You can’t really do anything about what other people think of you anyway, other than wear your underwear under your clothes instead of the other way around.



I was gonna talk about this train person anyway, I don’t know if I would categorize him as a nerd, but I was thinking about him today. The guy is prolly 42 or something, and he has cerebral palsy and needs a walker. They need to get that crazy ramp thing happening for him just so he can get on and off the train. Every morning, as I’m walking off the train platform, I see this guy, resplendent, descending from above. Let me get this straight, I’m not making fun of him, like I said, I don’t know if he’s a nerd. I don’t know anything about him. Other than his condition causes him to be extremely slow moving. The amazing thing about this guy is that, well one, he has a job, I’m guessing cuz he rides the train every day. I wonder what he does. I wonder how long it takes him just to get out of the train station. It must take like 20 minutes. I wonder what he feels like when the people are all hustling and bustling around him. Then, they’re all gone, it must be peaceful when all the people are gone. I bet each step is like a little victory for this guy. The other amazing thing is the perseverance he displays on a daily basis. I mean he could just sit in his bed, watch tv, collect public aid, and no one would judge him for it. But he gets up, he might have help, if not, it must take 2 hours just to get ready to go out. Then He gets to the train. I think you get the picture that everything this guy does must be agonizing. Or at least take a long time. I guess it prolly helps him to have a purpose though, and to feel like he’s contributing.



It’s hard to play that game that people play where you say, well, imagine if you were in his shoes. Seriously, if I was in that walker train guy’s shoes, I might be way happier than I am now. Who knows. People assume that just because you can walk normally and are not physically disfigured, that you’re happier than someone who is. Why do people jump to that conclusion? It’s like a priest or a nun, people wonder how they could give everything up like that. Think about how simple a life that would be. How wonderful it would be to have no (or few) possessions, to help others, to pray, to pursue intellectual interests (nerds), and to not have to worry about money. It would be kinda nice. You could say the same of the walker guy, expectations are lower due to his condition, therefore, he probably has a higher sense of achievement than someone who has full use of his/her appendages. Who knows. Happiness comes from within, I know that’s a cliché, but it’s true, money might make some people happy, for others, it creates more problems. Some rich people are miserable, and some poor people are ecstatic. (well maybe not ecstatic, but you never know.) I feel like I’m doing a very poor job of expressing this idea. I might have to revisit it another time.