Yep

I totally blew my wad yesterday. I dunno what to talk about today.

I was thinking about my profile on OKC last night. It def needs some work. It’s hard for a guy on a dating site because you really have to keep it simple and walk softly. If you are way cute for a dude, you can get away with being a little weird and saying some weird stuff. If you are not just drop dead adorable, then you better not push it. The problem with this notion is that your profile can be a real snoozer. So I try to spice up my profile where I can. On OKC they ask you a lot of stupid questions and it gets old pretty quick. One of the hardest questions is “The First Thing People Notice About Me Is…” I really honestly have no idea. I should probably put “that I’m a lot better looking than my pictures.” That might sound like an excuse for not looking good and a blatant lie in an attempt to get someone to look past whether my pix appeal to them or not; rather pathetic. I try to avoid looking like a puss, meek, dork (although some dorkiness is cool nowadays). As you can see there is a lot of thought that must go into these profiles. Back to the question. The first thing people notice about me is… The first time around, I just thought I would put something funny and at least self flattering, I put “My guns, they’re hard to hide.” I know 90% of the population knows what I’m talking about, but when women see the word “gun” they might get the wrong image. It doesn’t matter if it’s a joke, or whatever, it’s the idea of it that scares them, and I don’t think it takes much to scare them. I messaged some woman and she replied, “By guns, do you mean actual guns? Or Muscles?” I guess that isn’t obvious from my pix…bummer. Although you would like to think that everyone gets it, they don’t, some people picture me walking around town like Wyatt Earp with two six shooters strapped to my sides. Which would def get me some chix back in the day. I think using the word gun is a bad idea, so I decided to switch my answer. I changed it to “The first thing people notice about me is…” “That I’m not there.” I really like this answer. I think it might be a little more off-putting than guns, but I’m gonna stick with it for at least a while. The right person should really think this is an awesome answer. It’s like looking into a mirror with a mirror in your hand and the reflection goes on forever, that’s what thinking about that question and answer is. And I like that.

While we are on the topic of Faux pas. Getting back into dating has just magnified my ability to commit a faux pas at every opportunity. It’s like every little thing can be a deal breaker. It’s tough. Sometimes you have to take a chance though. Like last night. I messaged a bunch of women. One of them may have been named Lenore, it was in her profile name. The first thing I think of when I see Lenore, is “Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.” So I sent her a message and started with that line. I haven’t read the raven in a long time. I read it today. It’s pretty dark. I don’t know if it’s the repetition or the subject matter, but it’s creepy and off-putting to say the least. The subject matter is so bleak. The guy is pining for his lost love and basically the only thing that gets him by is the notion that his love, Lenore, is in heaven or whatever. He asks the raven if Lenore is in heaven and the raven says “Nevermore.” How bleak and hopeless of a message. You can just picture how this guy would be crushed and driven to madness from the loss not only of his love, but of his hope. So…yeah it might not have been the best opener. You live and learn. You have to take the good with the bad, and the bonus is that I read the Raven again, and it’s a really good poem.

I’m thinking about trying to become a writer at Pitchfork.com. I’m torn about it. I would like to write about music, but I don’t want to have to write positive reviews about bands like: Blitzen Trapper, Vampire Weekend, Beach House, Deerhunter, Yeasayer, Fiery Furnaces, you get the idea. Some of these bands I’ve only had a cursory exposure to, but I can safely say that they all suck. I like the fact that Pitchfork represents indie, but indie is becoming mainstream and that is annoying to me. Luckily there is punk rock, which I think has had its moment in the sun, and is now back where it belongs, in the gutters. I might still try out for PF though. They want 4 writing samples, all from a blog, which I’ll have to make up, and they all have to be album reviews as far as I can tell. I don’t know what albums to review. I don’t think Changes 2 by Bowie would go over well. I think Hockey would be up their alley and maybe The soft pack. I dunno who else, Green Day. That would prolly go over like a lead turd. I should review The Statler Brothers, Oh Baby Mine. That would probably get me the job right there. I said job, but I think it’s more of you get a T-shirt to pick up chix with by saying you write for pitchfork and you met Vampire Weekend. I think I have to submit (interesting choice of words, multiple meanings) by July 25, which would mean that I have to listen to 4 albums and write 4 reviews by then. Maybe they would take a 2 word review, simply…Shit Sandwich.

That’s it. I’m sure I have no readers left after the tome I threw out there yesterday. Go read the Raven if you’re bored.