I really don’t have anything interesting to talk about. NO fun Vegas stories. No back shaving. No Beatles songs. My life is getting back to boring. Which means this blog is gonna suck. Sometimes though, sometimes the little things can be twisted and made into stories. I’m going to try to take some little things and twist them, like a titty.
This thing wasn’t so little. My d. No, actually I was riding the train yesterday and trying to study for the Series 4. I’m chillin, really trying to focus which was difficult. The train lurched. We were moving. Cool. Solo. I left my satchmo where it was by my feet, like usual. The seat was wide open. To my surprise, some dude sits down. Bummer. I should’ve blocked off the opportunity. I’m not a hermit. I don’t care if people sit next to me, in fact I keep the seat open on the off chance a hottie plops down next to me and we hit it off. That has never happened. Random dude sits down. He looks pretty normal. Casual dress, upscale, not unkempt. I think he had a north face jacket on. He looked like a potential Hindalean, I think he did get off in Hinsdale (thank God). The reason I thank God that this guy got off at the first stop, he had horrendous BO. Off the charts. As soon as he sat down I got a whiff, and almost barfed. Every time he shifted in his seat a cloud of crud smell wafted over to me and I couldn’t focus. I had to put the Series 4 stuff in my backpack, and pull out the newspaper. I sat there absolutely livid. Does this guy not have access to a shower? Deodorant? Proper hygiene? How could this seemingly upscale looking dude smell this bad? Tough day in the trading pit? Did he sprint 20 blocks? Forget the deode this morning? It was awful. Any person with a half a nut in their bag would’ve said, “Excuse me.” And politely moved to another section of the train, or jumped off while the train was going 40. I just sat there. I guess I’m a puss.
Speaking of oddness, I was waiting in line at Wendy’s two days ago and I think an insane asylum was on a field trip or something. There were two women in front of me, both seemed mentally challenged and both were morbidly obese. I couldn’t figure out what their deal was, but they ordered like 49 dollars worth of food. It took for-flipping-ever for their order to be taken. Which was tough for me…because I had an insane man behind me. No question he was insane, he was fidgeting, looked unkempt, had weird glasses on that were way dirty, and had greasy matted down hair. Textbook weirdo. This dude says to me, “Ex..Excuse me, do you hap happen to know what time it is?” I pulled out my iphone and said, “It’s 6:34.” He says, “Th Thank you. I g g guess there are still good people in the world.” Does that classify as good? Telling someone what time it is? I dunno? I just said, “I guess so.” I was gonna say something really kind like, “You’re a good person too.” I didn’t though. Sin of omission. So dude starts talking to me, as crazy people are often wont to do. He says, “I’m r really worried about my friend… She’s going to have surgery on her eyes.” I said, “I see.” I really didn’t. By the way, the guy didn’t stutter, it just makes for better theatre. I said, “Yeah. That’s scary.” He’s like, “Yeah. I’m very scared about it. I’m also very depressed right now.” It’s like, “Well you should probably keep that to yourself.” I think I said, “I’m sorry to hear that.” I wanted to say, “Waiting 15 minutes in line will do that to you, especially when there are only two people in front of you.” I get up there and I’m hungry but not crazy hungry. I ended up with a pretty solid order. I don’t like to waste a lot of money on food when I eat for free at work, so I got a jr bacon double cheeseburger and a small frosty. I also got a water. My total 2.15. Not too shabby. I took my winnings and went to an area that was fairly bright and highly populated. I did this because I figured that crazy guy would be least likely to follow me there. I was right. I ate in peace and I guess the people at Wendys know crazy guy cuz they were all nice to him and saying goodbye when he left. How nice.
Since I’m on the subject of crazy street people. I saw an awesome street person the other morning. I was walking up Wabash to work. It was chilly. Probably like 40 degrees. I spot this dude asleep on the sidewalk sorta half in the sidewalk, half jammed into an alcove type area. This guy has completely wrapped in a comfortable looking quilt. He was all nestled in. I was half tempted to crawl in there with him. Just kidding. I was kinda jealous though cuz I wished I was still in bed, even if bed was a sidewalk in Chicago. As I got closer I saw a McDonald’s cup perched next to him. It was a large (old large, now probably a small, you know the tall one.) It was filled to the brim. With amber colored acrid urine. Hrm. Hi there. I guess that works. Dude had it all right there. Some people have huge mansions, sleep in king size beds, walk a half mile to take a piss. Some people curl up with their comforter on the sidewalk and piss in a cup one foot away. Who is the crazy person?
Tomorrow is Friday. TGIF. Not much going on for me. No kiddies, I’ll probably practice my drums and study for the 4. I’m planning on taking the 4 next weds, that should be enough time. I should be able to pass it right now, but I have a suspicion that it would be close, and I don’t want to fail, so I’m going to study. I’m going to see the Methadones on Saturday night. It’s their last show. I’m pretty geeked. I hope they play all my favorite tunes. Although it would be awesome if they did something weird and only played Ramones Covers or something. We’ll see. Ciao.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Welcome to the hotel california
Warning, this is a long one. It's about my trip to Las Vegas.
I’m definitely thinking about getting my back waxed. I just can’t decide how to do it. Not how to get it waxed, I’ve read up on it, and you just go to a salon and have it done. What I’m talking about is how to style it. Seriously, this is a difficult dilemma. I’d like to get all the hair taken off my shoulders, upper back and then when it gets down to above my butt, I’m a little stuck. It’s a slippery slope. If you go down below the waist, then you might as well just shave your legs too. If you stop above the waist, then you’ve got hair pants. Well sort of, cuz I don’t plan on waxing my front. If a woman doesn’t like chest and tummy hair, then I gotta move on. I mean what do women want now? Do they want like a pre-pubescent dude with no hair? I’m not going there. The leg hair is staying. The arm hair is staying. So when it comes to the lower back, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll leave a little hair there and let it sorta fade into my legs. I have no idea actually. I guess it’s trial and error. Or trial and Hair-er.
I really wanted to talk some about Vegas, but the memories are starting to fade. One thing that happened last week is I got divorced. I have been in the process of getting divorced for about 18 months. Long time. Well it all sort of blew up and we got it settled and hammered out without going to trial. That’s about all I can say. It’s done. It all got wrapped up around 330 last Wednesday and as luck would have it, I boarded a flight for Vegas at 540 that afternoon. It was really luck. Kind of an odd juxtaposition, but as I had just closed the casket on my marriage, I was cruising out to Vegas to help my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Not much interesting on the way out. I had the book The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo with me. I read for basically the whole flight. At one point, I was falling asleep, only I was in the middle seat. So I basically had to try to fall asleep sitting up. That doesn’t work. I would fall asleep and then my head would dip down and I’d wake back up. Did that for about a half hour and then gave up. Got to Vegas, made the fatal error of taking a shuttle out. So an hour later I get to my hotel. We were staying at the Wynn Encore. It was pretty darn posh. Very nice rooms. As soon as I got there I took a bath. They had a TV in the bathroom to watch when you take a bath. That’s kind of a pain in the ass. I don’t know I feel funny about touching the remote when I’m all wet, and I can’t leave the TV on any station for more than a few minutes. It ended up on ESPN, but I wasn’t really watching it. When I got out of the tub, I prolly should’ve just gone to bed, but instead, I went down to gamble. I didn’t have much money, so I was a little nervous. I sat down and played some blackjack.
I do know the basic strategy for blackjack, and if you don’t know the basic strategy, or parts of it, then you are what they call a sucker. And people will probably be pissed at you at the blackjack table if you screw things up. I personally think that it’s all pretty random as far as other players go. If a guy hits hard 14 against a 6, maybe he takes a bust card that would’ve busted the dealer, maybe he take a card that would’ve helped the dealer. Who knows. It is annoying though, because you don’t want to bust when the dealer is showing a bust card. So it’s a stupid move. When I play blackjack, I use a modified basic strategy. There are a bunch of tables that you have to memorize when it comes to doubling and splitting. I don’t remember them all. I know soft doubling is pretty key. You have a soft hand when you have an ace. When you have an ace, you can’t bust on one hit. So you can always hit or double down when you have an ace (depending on house rules). When the dealer is showing a bust card, 5 or 6, maybe 4 sometimes, you should double a soft 18 or lower. Soft doubling is probably the best advantage a player has against the house. High probability that the dealer will bust, you have a chance to double your bet, the odds are in your favor. So I’m pretty aggressive with soft doubling. Some people don’t know this, but you can always ask the dealer what the right play is. They usually know the right strategy. Do you split 2s vs a 4? Ask the dealer. So I played some blackjack. I just wanted to hang around for a while and break even. They did bring me free drinks, which I wasn’t sure if they were still doing. That’s one bonus to gambling, the free beer. Basically I sat there for about an hour, drank a beer, and made 100 bucks. Once I got up, I took off. I just can’t afford to give it back.
That was Wednesday. I cruised back to my room and slept. I got up the next day at like 6 cuz you can’t sleep in Vegas. I texted my Dad and we went to breakfast. We went somewhere in the Wynn and it was so dam good. I had this concoction pulled pork eggs benedict. It was eggs benedict over cornbread with pulled pork, bbq sauce, cheese, potatoes. It was so good. Great way to start the day. Then I went back to my room and got in bed. Got up and went to the health club. Got pumped up like hans and franz, then went to lunch. We all went to the Venetian for lunch. It was pretty cool. They had the gondolas outside, inside it was like Venice I guess. They had street performers doing acrobatic shit and juggling on stilts, singing, and making merry. It was pretty cool. They had a guy that was pretending to be a statue. I wasn’t sure if those guys were mimes or what. We were sitting at the table and we had a basket full of rolls. It’s Vegas, so I asked the group if they thought someone had ever thrown a roll at the statue guy. I said it has to have happened. The thoughts were mixed and people were trying to encourage me to do it. I wasn’t going to embarrass my ps the day before their anniversary, so I declined, I was tempted though. After we ate we got gelato, I went up and took a picture with the statue. I asked him if anyone had ever thrown something at him, he shook his head no. Dam mime. Thursday night as mentioned in a previous blog, I saw Love. It was really good. Then I came back and my whole fam was hanging out in the bar area so I had a beer with them. I got a fat tire and it was pretty good. I thought I didn’t like FT, I guess it’s ok. Next I made a fatal error. I sat down for blackjack. When in Vegas, you gotta do. The problem was that the table limit was raised to 25. The night before it was 15. At 25, I had to cash in 200 just to be able to hang (8 hands). Well I never really got up much, it was mostly a fight to get back to even. Until the dealer went on a run and cleaned me out. Back to the room dejected. I was really pissed. No question losing at Blackjack is a lower low than winning is a high. It doesn’t even out.
The next morning I got up and went back to the Blackjack table to get my money. My fam was going to breakfast. While we were waiting for everyone to get their stuff together, I played some blackjack. The limit was down to 10, so it was good for me. 100 is 10 hands. That’s better for basic strategy cuz BS evens out in the long run. Hence why table limits get raised. I sit down and some sad sap is getting beaten up. It’s just me and him. He was cool, he was in town for his 10th anniversary or something. Once I sat down, he started just killing em. Then he upped his bets and we both started winning. I walked away with 100 and I think he made like 1000. Rockin. So I got my money back. I’m back to scratch. We went to Dennys. Ate. I came back and worked out. I think I sat down and played some more blackjack. There’s a blackjack session that I can’t remember, but I’m pretty sure I made another 100 somewhere. The big plan for the day Friday was to go to the pool. They have a pool at the Wynn that allows for European sunbathing. Topless action. I was supposed to go hang out there with my brothers. They ended up bailing, and I went down there with my Ps. Kind of odd. Not bad though. Cuz they had a nice bar there, and my ps got me a fat tire, and we all sat around and chatted. Very nice. They got Pina coladas, and they were the worst PCs I have ever had, and I’m a fan (also like getting caught in the rain FYI). Friday was the warmest day, the day I figured peeps would be out. There were some hotties there, no boobies, I ended up cruising to another pool. I cruised and was pretty lit cuz I hadn’t eaten since Dennys and my ps didn’t do much damage on their PCs, they left them for me.
So I’m sitting there listening to my ipod and some dude starts talking to me. I have no idea what his name is, but he’s from New Jersey. He grew up in New York. The guys must’ve been 73 or so. This guy had a lot of stories. I guess he owned a liquor store and made a lot of money from it. Now he’s retired and traveling around the world. Cool. He definitely had some tall tales. He told me some story about the guy who came to date his daughter. The guy was a black belt (right). So the guy comes to the door and Jersey Guy says, “If you ever harm my daughter in any way I’m going to kick your ass.” Or something like that. Guy says, “I’ll drop you in 40 seconds.” Jersey says, “I’ll drop you in 30.” I guess the thing came to blows and Jersey says he dropped the guy in 10 seconds. Tall Tales. He also played semi pro baseball, and somebody offended him so he hit the guy with three pitches when he came to bat and put him in the hospital or something. Tall tales. Finally the guy left. He was ok. I got in the hot tub. It was full of weird dudes. They were from Australia or something. The problem with the hot tub is that it wasn’t hot. At this point it’s like 3 and starting to cool off. There was a cool breeze. Hot tub should be hot. Then all the aussies light up cigarettes. The hot tub became a smoke cloud. I bailed. I cruised back to the hotel room and got ready for dinner.
We had dinner at the clubhouse to the golf course which is basically a very nice restaurant. It was fun. We drank some wine. My sis in law had sent around a questionnaire for everyone to fill out to tell stories about my parents. Some really funny stuff came out and everyone had a good laugh. I got a tasting menu and I have to say the food was decidedly ok. Not as awesome as I had planned. I really wanted the gumbo, and that ended up being a disappointment. Then they had this sirloin that was tasty but a little rare for me. For dessert they had beignets or some French donut that’s basically a funnel cake. That was ok. The wine was good. I was feeling groovy. After dinner we all went to our rooms and I think everyone wanted to go to bed. Not happening in Vegas though. It was our last night. So we all went to see Kevin James and Ray Romano do stand up at the Mirage. It was pretty good. I thought their bits were funny. Some of their stuff was just ok, and had been beaten down. Ray Romano did a funny bit about ordering porn on the TV at his hotel. Another bit kind of related was about how legalized prostitution makes Vegas so great. Kevin James did a funny bit about people with walkers that have hand breaks and they’re all suped up. They both came out at the end and answered questions. That was kind of pointless. Kevin did one of Ray R’s bits, and he was doing a pretty funny impersonation of RR, and RR got all bent out of shape about it. They decided to do the bit together which was amazing that they both knew it well enough to do it remotely synchronized, although it was hard to follow and rather pointless. As is always the case, the opener was the best part of the show, he was some dude off of RR’s show and he was funny. If you asked the guy behind me, the dead air between jokes was funny. I had a hard time following some of the bits because the guy behind me thought that as soon as a comedian opened their mouth, it was time to laugh. He must’ve been doing whippits or something.
After the show it was like midnight which is 2pm in Chicago. It was time for everyone to go to bed. So we all went back to the hotel. Only I kept going. It’s Vegas Baby! Just down the strip from us was Circus Circus and The Riviera. If you don’t know the Riviera, it’s where they used to tape The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling show back in the day. A classic. I think I played some blackjack there with Nonotchka. So yeah, I head to the Riv. It was pretty dirty and filled with losers. They had some kind of serious cover band playing in this room in front of basically no one. Then there’s a bar outside of there which looks like it caters to ex convicts. The one thing they had which spoke to my proclivities was dancing girls by the blackjack tables. They had two girls pole dancing, scantily clad, while you sat down and played Blackjack. Good idea. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to play though, so I checked the ladies and then cruised to CC. Circus Circus was a total dive. I figured what the heck, so I sat down and played some blackjack. The chips were so old, that they were dirty, they had grime caked onto them and I grimaced every time I had to touch one. Def needed to wash hands after that. I sat down with some people who were like 19 and just engaged or just married. They had like 20 dollars to gamble with and I think they might have been mentally challenged. The girl hit a hard 17 or something against a dealer 6, I wanted to tackle her. At the Encore, when you hit hard 17, they need the pit bosses approval, which should tell you that it’s a bad idea. Some guys sat down that seriously looked shady, they were speaking another language and probably had ridden camels to school at some point in their lives. I got down and battled back to scratch, so I left. I was gonna go back to the Encore, but something about the Riv spoke to me. I stopped there and sat at the tables w/ female entertainment. That worked out pretty well. The people were pretty cool. They didn’t know what they were doing, so they thought I was Amarillo Slim or something. I kept getting blackjacks like I owned the place. I was tipping out pretty generously to the dancers, and to the dealer who was female and stacked. I still walked out of there with over a hundred. I think that put me up around 200 on the trip. I don’t think I’ve ever left Vegas with more money than I came with, so it was time to head home. On my way home I grabbed some of the complimentary literature on the street. Vegas has a nice system for sharing information, the research proved enlightening.
The next day I got up. Ate breakfast with the group. We went to this place the Pepper Mill. It looked like a good place to hang. They had like a speakeasy in back with fireplaces and plush seating. I think a lot of “deals” go down in there. Probably good people watching at night. We had flights to catch, so it was off to the airport and back to chitown. I can’t wait to head back to Vegas though, it’s always a good time.
I’m definitely thinking about getting my back waxed. I just can’t decide how to do it. Not how to get it waxed, I’ve read up on it, and you just go to a salon and have it done. What I’m talking about is how to style it. Seriously, this is a difficult dilemma. I’d like to get all the hair taken off my shoulders, upper back and then when it gets down to above my butt, I’m a little stuck. It’s a slippery slope. If you go down below the waist, then you might as well just shave your legs too. If you stop above the waist, then you’ve got hair pants. Well sort of, cuz I don’t plan on waxing my front. If a woman doesn’t like chest and tummy hair, then I gotta move on. I mean what do women want now? Do they want like a pre-pubescent dude with no hair? I’m not going there. The leg hair is staying. The arm hair is staying. So when it comes to the lower back, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll leave a little hair there and let it sorta fade into my legs. I have no idea actually. I guess it’s trial and error. Or trial and Hair-er.
I really wanted to talk some about Vegas, but the memories are starting to fade. One thing that happened last week is I got divorced. I have been in the process of getting divorced for about 18 months. Long time. Well it all sort of blew up and we got it settled and hammered out without going to trial. That’s about all I can say. It’s done. It all got wrapped up around 330 last Wednesday and as luck would have it, I boarded a flight for Vegas at 540 that afternoon. It was really luck. Kind of an odd juxtaposition, but as I had just closed the casket on my marriage, I was cruising out to Vegas to help my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Not much interesting on the way out. I had the book The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo with me. I read for basically the whole flight. At one point, I was falling asleep, only I was in the middle seat. So I basically had to try to fall asleep sitting up. That doesn’t work. I would fall asleep and then my head would dip down and I’d wake back up. Did that for about a half hour and then gave up. Got to Vegas, made the fatal error of taking a shuttle out. So an hour later I get to my hotel. We were staying at the Wynn Encore. It was pretty darn posh. Very nice rooms. As soon as I got there I took a bath. They had a TV in the bathroom to watch when you take a bath. That’s kind of a pain in the ass. I don’t know I feel funny about touching the remote when I’m all wet, and I can’t leave the TV on any station for more than a few minutes. It ended up on ESPN, but I wasn’t really watching it. When I got out of the tub, I prolly should’ve just gone to bed, but instead, I went down to gamble. I didn’t have much money, so I was a little nervous. I sat down and played some blackjack.
I do know the basic strategy for blackjack, and if you don’t know the basic strategy, or parts of it, then you are what they call a sucker. And people will probably be pissed at you at the blackjack table if you screw things up. I personally think that it’s all pretty random as far as other players go. If a guy hits hard 14 against a 6, maybe he takes a bust card that would’ve busted the dealer, maybe he take a card that would’ve helped the dealer. Who knows. It is annoying though, because you don’t want to bust when the dealer is showing a bust card. So it’s a stupid move. When I play blackjack, I use a modified basic strategy. There are a bunch of tables that you have to memorize when it comes to doubling and splitting. I don’t remember them all. I know soft doubling is pretty key. You have a soft hand when you have an ace. When you have an ace, you can’t bust on one hit. So you can always hit or double down when you have an ace (depending on house rules). When the dealer is showing a bust card, 5 or 6, maybe 4 sometimes, you should double a soft 18 or lower. Soft doubling is probably the best advantage a player has against the house. High probability that the dealer will bust, you have a chance to double your bet, the odds are in your favor. So I’m pretty aggressive with soft doubling. Some people don’t know this, but you can always ask the dealer what the right play is. They usually know the right strategy. Do you split 2s vs a 4? Ask the dealer. So I played some blackjack. I just wanted to hang around for a while and break even. They did bring me free drinks, which I wasn’t sure if they were still doing. That’s one bonus to gambling, the free beer. Basically I sat there for about an hour, drank a beer, and made 100 bucks. Once I got up, I took off. I just can’t afford to give it back.
That was Wednesday. I cruised back to my room and slept. I got up the next day at like 6 cuz you can’t sleep in Vegas. I texted my Dad and we went to breakfast. We went somewhere in the Wynn and it was so dam good. I had this concoction pulled pork eggs benedict. It was eggs benedict over cornbread with pulled pork, bbq sauce, cheese, potatoes. It was so good. Great way to start the day. Then I went back to my room and got in bed. Got up and went to the health club. Got pumped up like hans and franz, then went to lunch. We all went to the Venetian for lunch. It was pretty cool. They had the gondolas outside, inside it was like Venice I guess. They had street performers doing acrobatic shit and juggling on stilts, singing, and making merry. It was pretty cool. They had a guy that was pretending to be a statue. I wasn’t sure if those guys were mimes or what. We were sitting at the table and we had a basket full of rolls. It’s Vegas, so I asked the group if they thought someone had ever thrown a roll at the statue guy. I said it has to have happened. The thoughts were mixed and people were trying to encourage me to do it. I wasn’t going to embarrass my ps the day before their anniversary, so I declined, I was tempted though. After we ate we got gelato, I went up and took a picture with the statue. I asked him if anyone had ever thrown something at him, he shook his head no. Dam mime. Thursday night as mentioned in a previous blog, I saw Love. It was really good. Then I came back and my whole fam was hanging out in the bar area so I had a beer with them. I got a fat tire and it was pretty good. I thought I didn’t like FT, I guess it’s ok. Next I made a fatal error. I sat down for blackjack. When in Vegas, you gotta do. The problem was that the table limit was raised to 25. The night before it was 15. At 25, I had to cash in 200 just to be able to hang (8 hands). Well I never really got up much, it was mostly a fight to get back to even. Until the dealer went on a run and cleaned me out. Back to the room dejected. I was really pissed. No question losing at Blackjack is a lower low than winning is a high. It doesn’t even out.
The next morning I got up and went back to the Blackjack table to get my money. My fam was going to breakfast. While we were waiting for everyone to get their stuff together, I played some blackjack. The limit was down to 10, so it was good for me. 100 is 10 hands. That’s better for basic strategy cuz BS evens out in the long run. Hence why table limits get raised. I sit down and some sad sap is getting beaten up. It’s just me and him. He was cool, he was in town for his 10th anniversary or something. Once I sat down, he started just killing em. Then he upped his bets and we both started winning. I walked away with 100 and I think he made like 1000. Rockin. So I got my money back. I’m back to scratch. We went to Dennys. Ate. I came back and worked out. I think I sat down and played some more blackjack. There’s a blackjack session that I can’t remember, but I’m pretty sure I made another 100 somewhere. The big plan for the day Friday was to go to the pool. They have a pool at the Wynn that allows for European sunbathing. Topless action. I was supposed to go hang out there with my brothers. They ended up bailing, and I went down there with my Ps. Kind of odd. Not bad though. Cuz they had a nice bar there, and my ps got me a fat tire, and we all sat around and chatted. Very nice. They got Pina coladas, and they were the worst PCs I have ever had, and I’m a fan (also like getting caught in the rain FYI). Friday was the warmest day, the day I figured peeps would be out. There were some hotties there, no boobies, I ended up cruising to another pool. I cruised and was pretty lit cuz I hadn’t eaten since Dennys and my ps didn’t do much damage on their PCs, they left them for me.
So I’m sitting there listening to my ipod and some dude starts talking to me. I have no idea what his name is, but he’s from New Jersey. He grew up in New York. The guys must’ve been 73 or so. This guy had a lot of stories. I guess he owned a liquor store and made a lot of money from it. Now he’s retired and traveling around the world. Cool. He definitely had some tall tales. He told me some story about the guy who came to date his daughter. The guy was a black belt (right). So the guy comes to the door and Jersey Guy says, “If you ever harm my daughter in any way I’m going to kick your ass.” Or something like that. Guy says, “I’ll drop you in 40 seconds.” Jersey says, “I’ll drop you in 30.” I guess the thing came to blows and Jersey says he dropped the guy in 10 seconds. Tall Tales. He also played semi pro baseball, and somebody offended him so he hit the guy with three pitches when he came to bat and put him in the hospital or something. Tall tales. Finally the guy left. He was ok. I got in the hot tub. It was full of weird dudes. They were from Australia or something. The problem with the hot tub is that it wasn’t hot. At this point it’s like 3 and starting to cool off. There was a cool breeze. Hot tub should be hot. Then all the aussies light up cigarettes. The hot tub became a smoke cloud. I bailed. I cruised back to the hotel room and got ready for dinner.
We had dinner at the clubhouse to the golf course which is basically a very nice restaurant. It was fun. We drank some wine. My sis in law had sent around a questionnaire for everyone to fill out to tell stories about my parents. Some really funny stuff came out and everyone had a good laugh. I got a tasting menu and I have to say the food was decidedly ok. Not as awesome as I had planned. I really wanted the gumbo, and that ended up being a disappointment. Then they had this sirloin that was tasty but a little rare for me. For dessert they had beignets or some French donut that’s basically a funnel cake. That was ok. The wine was good. I was feeling groovy. After dinner we all went to our rooms and I think everyone wanted to go to bed. Not happening in Vegas though. It was our last night. So we all went to see Kevin James and Ray Romano do stand up at the Mirage. It was pretty good. I thought their bits were funny. Some of their stuff was just ok, and had been beaten down. Ray Romano did a funny bit about ordering porn on the TV at his hotel. Another bit kind of related was about how legalized prostitution makes Vegas so great. Kevin James did a funny bit about people with walkers that have hand breaks and they’re all suped up. They both came out at the end and answered questions. That was kind of pointless. Kevin did one of Ray R’s bits, and he was doing a pretty funny impersonation of RR, and RR got all bent out of shape about it. They decided to do the bit together which was amazing that they both knew it well enough to do it remotely synchronized, although it was hard to follow and rather pointless. As is always the case, the opener was the best part of the show, he was some dude off of RR’s show and he was funny. If you asked the guy behind me, the dead air between jokes was funny. I had a hard time following some of the bits because the guy behind me thought that as soon as a comedian opened their mouth, it was time to laugh. He must’ve been doing whippits or something.
After the show it was like midnight which is 2pm in Chicago. It was time for everyone to go to bed. So we all went back to the hotel. Only I kept going. It’s Vegas Baby! Just down the strip from us was Circus Circus and The Riviera. If you don’t know the Riviera, it’s where they used to tape The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling show back in the day. A classic. I think I played some blackjack there with Nonotchka. So yeah, I head to the Riv. It was pretty dirty and filled with losers. They had some kind of serious cover band playing in this room in front of basically no one. Then there’s a bar outside of there which looks like it caters to ex convicts. The one thing they had which spoke to my proclivities was dancing girls by the blackjack tables. They had two girls pole dancing, scantily clad, while you sat down and played Blackjack. Good idea. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to play though, so I checked the ladies and then cruised to CC. Circus Circus was a total dive. I figured what the heck, so I sat down and played some blackjack. The chips were so old, that they were dirty, they had grime caked onto them and I grimaced every time I had to touch one. Def needed to wash hands after that. I sat down with some people who were like 19 and just engaged or just married. They had like 20 dollars to gamble with and I think they might have been mentally challenged. The girl hit a hard 17 or something against a dealer 6, I wanted to tackle her. At the Encore, when you hit hard 17, they need the pit bosses approval, which should tell you that it’s a bad idea. Some guys sat down that seriously looked shady, they were speaking another language and probably had ridden camels to school at some point in their lives. I got down and battled back to scratch, so I left. I was gonna go back to the Encore, but something about the Riv spoke to me. I stopped there and sat at the tables w/ female entertainment. That worked out pretty well. The people were pretty cool. They didn’t know what they were doing, so they thought I was Amarillo Slim or something. I kept getting blackjacks like I owned the place. I was tipping out pretty generously to the dancers, and to the dealer who was female and stacked. I still walked out of there with over a hundred. I think that put me up around 200 on the trip. I don’t think I’ve ever left Vegas with more money than I came with, so it was time to head home. On my way home I grabbed some of the complimentary literature on the street. Vegas has a nice system for sharing information, the research proved enlightening.
The next day I got up. Ate breakfast with the group. We went to this place the Pepper Mill. It looked like a good place to hang. They had like a speakeasy in back with fireplaces and plush seating. I think a lot of “deals” go down in there. Probably good people watching at night. We had flights to catch, so it was off to the airport and back to chitown. I can’t wait to head back to Vegas though, it’s always a good time.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Ello, I'm the Beatles.
Geez dudes there’s so much to talk about. I could write like 10 pages. And I will. The problem is, although I have a ton to write about in my personal life, I’m going to write about The beatles. I don’t know what the beatles have to do with anything. How the fuck could beatles be a misspelled word? They are like the most famous band in the history of the world, can we please put them in the fucking dictionary so there’s no red line under Beatles in Microsoft word? Oh, I get it now, The Beatles are so fucking unbelievably transcendent, that they have to have the first letter capitalized or it would be misspelled. “Listen dipshit, we are talking about the biggest band ever, they changed the way people thought, the way people felt, the way people felt each other, fucking capitalize that shit, or you know what, it’s wrong.” That’s what Microsoft is telling me. Let’s see something, Microsoft, fucking Microsoft. If you try to type Microsoft with a lower case m, it automatically changes to capital, those smarmy bastards.
The Beatles. I was in Vegas last weekend. Completely different story. I saw one awesome show whilst I was there. Love. Cirque du Soleil. It was pretty awesome. Probably would’ve been better on mushrooms or something, but I was stone sober and it was still good. The thing about CDS is that it tells a story. The problem is that it tells a story in such an abstract way that unless you are a cryptographer, you really don’t know what’s going on. So basically trying to sit there and pick the story out of all the tricks and spectacular stunts etc; it’s a waste of time and energy. Like mushrooms (so I’ve heard) you’ve kinda just gotta sit back and let CDS happen to you. The visuals are unbelievable, the stunts are pretty awesome, and there are also some hot chicks thrown in there for a change of pace. I really don’t want to spoil it, but the stunts are the best part. There are some people in this world with some really tripped-out talents. People who do trapeze like stuff but with things other than trapezes. It’s really hard to explain. The whole thing was set to Beatles music and the choices were pretty solid. It was also cool that they used obscure versions of most of the tunes, so it wasn’t the version that was beaten to death, it was the one-off they did in John’s studio when they were on acid or something. So anyway, they played my favorite Beatles song. I have to come forward and openly admit that I’m not a Beatles fan. I appreciate their music. I hear their influence, especially in the indie stuff out today. I do have a favorite Beatles song. Amazingly, this song got voted as the best Beatles song recently. I think this was a new poll, because Hey Jude was always up there and I forget what else is usually on top. But in this new poll, and to me, the best Beatles song is…A Day in The Life.
So on Sunday, I’m back from Vegas. I’m driving over to pick up my daughter to take her to rehearsal. I turn on WXRT, and they are doing Beatles breakfast or whatever with Terry Hemmert. And what do you know, they play A Day in The Life. I start thinking about the first time I heard the song. I totally remember where I was when I first heard that song. The song ends and Terry comes on and she says, “Can you remember where you were when you first heard that song?” I was like, “TERRY! I CAN TOTALLY REMEMBER!” I didn’t shout though. When I was in 4th grade, or between third and fourth grade, I went to camp. This was no ordinary camp. It was weight watchers camp. Kind of a funny story about how I ended up at weight watchers camp, other than that I was fat, cuz I was. Although this may sound odd, my dad used to take a lot of baths. That’s not odd. When I would come home, I would talk to him while he was in the bath tub. Kinda weird. One day, I’m feeling a little bummed about being fat, and I didn’t want to take responsibility for my situation, cuz I’m a kid, so I wanted to blame somebody else. So I said to my dad, “Dad…Why did you let me get fat?” I think as a dad, this is the equivalent of a kick to the nuts. I think he was bummed, he knew I was in a situation that I didn’t want to be in, and I blamed him and my mom. So that Summer, I went to fat camp. It was a weight watchers camp, and it was located in Wisconsin near Sheboygan at Lakeland College. Pretty cool campus. I remember “Old Main.” I think that was where we lived, it was supposedly haunted.
So I’m at Fat Camp, and I have the lamest roommates ever. I couldn’t wait to get out of that room. I think my roomie had to sleep with the door open and the light on. I had to get out of there. There were a couple of guys down the hall, one of them was really fat, I think he had like candy bars and stuff stashed like a junkie in prison. I moved in with him, he was funny and the other guy was funny, but I think I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor, which sucked. The coolest guys were across the hall, everyone respected them for some reason. They were cool, nice guys, Josh and Sol. After a while, they invited me to room with them, I guess cuz I’m a cool guy. Or maybe it was because I was into D and D at the time and liked to paint the little metal figures and people thought that was cool. I don’t know, that was a sidebar. Josh was cool, laid back, Sol, he was hot and cold. Josh really liked the Beatles, a lot. I can’t remember if I was even into music in 3rd grade, if I was, it was The who, Dire Straits, Blondie, BTO, and roller skating music (J Geils Band?). Josh had the Beatles pumping 24/7 and at an early age, the Beatles didn’t really do it for me. There was one song that came on and I was like, “Heyyyy…What is this?” It was A Day in the Life. That’s a fricking song. That song speaks to me. I feel like the guy in the song. That song is so kick ass, you would think it was recorded at Apple Studios on $10,000 equipment (in 1965). It was recorded on a 4 track. That’s what Terry Hemmert said, and I’m kind of skeptical now because there are some elaborate string parts in it. Maybe the backbone and vocals were recorded on a 4 track. The song is a little quirky too, like it almost sounds like they took 2 different songs and mashed them together. It’s still my favorite Beatles tune. A close second and also first heard at Lakeland college in Old Main courtesy of Mr. Josh Saffren, Maxwell’s silver hammer.
That’s it. I’ll be back with tales of debauchery from Las Vegas.
The Beatles. I was in Vegas last weekend. Completely different story. I saw one awesome show whilst I was there. Love. Cirque du Soleil. It was pretty awesome. Probably would’ve been better on mushrooms or something, but I was stone sober and it was still good. The thing about CDS is that it tells a story. The problem is that it tells a story in such an abstract way that unless you are a cryptographer, you really don’t know what’s going on. So basically trying to sit there and pick the story out of all the tricks and spectacular stunts etc; it’s a waste of time and energy. Like mushrooms (so I’ve heard) you’ve kinda just gotta sit back and let CDS happen to you. The visuals are unbelievable, the stunts are pretty awesome, and there are also some hot chicks thrown in there for a change of pace. I really don’t want to spoil it, but the stunts are the best part. There are some people in this world with some really tripped-out talents. People who do trapeze like stuff but with things other than trapezes. It’s really hard to explain. The whole thing was set to Beatles music and the choices were pretty solid. It was also cool that they used obscure versions of most of the tunes, so it wasn’t the version that was beaten to death, it was the one-off they did in John’s studio when they were on acid or something. So anyway, they played my favorite Beatles song. I have to come forward and openly admit that I’m not a Beatles fan. I appreciate their music. I hear their influence, especially in the indie stuff out today. I do have a favorite Beatles song. Amazingly, this song got voted as the best Beatles song recently. I think this was a new poll, because Hey Jude was always up there and I forget what else is usually on top. But in this new poll, and to me, the best Beatles song is…A Day in The Life.
So on Sunday, I’m back from Vegas. I’m driving over to pick up my daughter to take her to rehearsal. I turn on WXRT, and they are doing Beatles breakfast or whatever with Terry Hemmert. And what do you know, they play A Day in The Life. I start thinking about the first time I heard the song. I totally remember where I was when I first heard that song. The song ends and Terry comes on and she says, “Can you remember where you were when you first heard that song?” I was like, “TERRY! I CAN TOTALLY REMEMBER!” I didn’t shout though. When I was in 4th grade, or between third and fourth grade, I went to camp. This was no ordinary camp. It was weight watchers camp. Kind of a funny story about how I ended up at weight watchers camp, other than that I was fat, cuz I was. Although this may sound odd, my dad used to take a lot of baths. That’s not odd. When I would come home, I would talk to him while he was in the bath tub. Kinda weird. One day, I’m feeling a little bummed about being fat, and I didn’t want to take responsibility for my situation, cuz I’m a kid, so I wanted to blame somebody else. So I said to my dad, “Dad…Why did you let me get fat?” I think as a dad, this is the equivalent of a kick to the nuts. I think he was bummed, he knew I was in a situation that I didn’t want to be in, and I blamed him and my mom. So that Summer, I went to fat camp. It was a weight watchers camp, and it was located in Wisconsin near Sheboygan at Lakeland College. Pretty cool campus. I remember “Old Main.” I think that was where we lived, it was supposedly haunted.
So I’m at Fat Camp, and I have the lamest roommates ever. I couldn’t wait to get out of that room. I think my roomie had to sleep with the door open and the light on. I had to get out of there. There were a couple of guys down the hall, one of them was really fat, I think he had like candy bars and stuff stashed like a junkie in prison. I moved in with him, he was funny and the other guy was funny, but I think I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor, which sucked. The coolest guys were across the hall, everyone respected them for some reason. They were cool, nice guys, Josh and Sol. After a while, they invited me to room with them, I guess cuz I’m a cool guy. Or maybe it was because I was into D and D at the time and liked to paint the little metal figures and people thought that was cool. I don’t know, that was a sidebar. Josh was cool, laid back, Sol, he was hot and cold. Josh really liked the Beatles, a lot. I can’t remember if I was even into music in 3rd grade, if I was, it was The who, Dire Straits, Blondie, BTO, and roller skating music (J Geils Band?). Josh had the Beatles pumping 24/7 and at an early age, the Beatles didn’t really do it for me. There was one song that came on and I was like, “Heyyyy…What is this?” It was A Day in the Life. That’s a fricking song. That song speaks to me. I feel like the guy in the song. That song is so kick ass, you would think it was recorded at Apple Studios on $10,000 equipment (in 1965). It was recorded on a 4 track. That’s what Terry Hemmert said, and I’m kind of skeptical now because there are some elaborate string parts in it. Maybe the backbone and vocals were recorded on a 4 track. The song is a little quirky too, like it almost sounds like they took 2 different songs and mashed them together. It’s still my favorite Beatles tune. A close second and also first heard at Lakeland college in Old Main courtesy of Mr. Josh Saffren, Maxwell’s silver hammer.
That’s it. I’ll be back with tales of debauchery from Las Vegas.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Old Canes
I feel really sorry for the 400 people who could have come to see Old Canes at the Mayne Stage but chose to do something else. That is my guess, that about 400 more people could have fit in there. After the show I approached the lead singer, Chris Crisci, and said, “Thanks man.” He said, “You’re welcome.” I went on, “I saw Neutral Milk Hotel open for Superchunk at the Lounge Ax over on Lincoln. That was a life-changing experience. I would put this show in that category. I really like the Appleseed stuff, and I love the old canes stuff. Keep it coming.” He replied, “I will.” He raised his glass to click with mine and that was it. I don’t know how to describe Old Canes stuff. It’s kind of rollicking. It’s kind of folky. It reminds me of Neutral Milk Hotel a little bit, but it’s more upbeat. It’s all acoustic, but it does rock at times. It’s like going on a hayride. Well a good hayride. I’ve been on the lame hayrides with my kids. You ride out into the pumpkin patch and it’s all dusty, you look at some pumpkins and they don’t look as nice as the ones all the way back at the Pumpkin Fest, and you also don’t have to lug them all the way back to where the other pumpkins are, so you just walk around and watch other idiots trying to lug pumpkins back onto the cart.
A good hayride would happen on a Friday night. Late fall, crisp weather, maybe a jacket required or a thick flannel shirt. You wouldn’t be with your kids, you’d be with your friends, and the girl you were digging on would be there. You’d split a sixer with your friends before the ride and when you got there you’d have a nice buzz going… Everyone is milling about, laughing. Some guy yells, “Hot cider! Get your hot cider.” Johnny comes back with 4 ciders and Fred pulls out a flask of whiskey. The amber liquid nicely tops off each cider and the four of you toast as the moon peeks out from behind some clouds. Jenny walks up, “Whatcha drinkin?” “Cider, you want some.” She takes the cup from your hands and puts it to her lips as her eyes gaze into yours. Everyone is a little tipsy as they load into the haycart. The moon is the only source of light as the cart careens through the forest. Jenny is giving you the eye from across the cart as she makes small talk with her friends. You sit there sipping your cider and getting warm from the inside. A glow appears in the distance. It grows as the cart comes through the forest to a clearing. There’s a bonfire and bales of hay are strewn about for everyone to sit on. There’s a shed out there and people are coming and going from it. The cart stops. Everyone unloads and takes a seat around the fire. Fred taps you in the gut with his flask. You take it, pop the cap and take a healthy gulp. Two men emerge from the shed. One has a guitar, the other a fiddle. They bust into some raucous foot stompin folk and every toe commences to a-tappin. People start to dance. You seize the opportunity to make your move on Jenny. “Would you like to dance?” “You bet sailor.” It’s not graceful, and you’re tipsy, but the two of you are touching and moving and the music is intoxicating. You both take a rest, and time stops as Jenny lays on your shoulder looking up at the sky. You hold her there and just exist. All good things must come to an end. You all pile back on the cart and head home. The only difference is that this time Jenny is sitting next to you and you’re holding hands.
So I hope that gave you a good impression of what Old Canes is all about. They’re basically a rollicking good time. The Mayne Stage is damn fine venue as well. Number one key element? An awesome beer list. If you’ve been to Lincoln hall, the setup is similar. You walk in, make your way to the back, they’ve got the bar there. Then you go through the doors to get into the space. It’s a wide open two story space that is sort of long like the shape of the key on a basketball court. It’s pretty dark, not the best for photography. Everything is brand new and totally posh. Bench style booth seating lines each side of the hall and then there are steps down to the main floor where cocktail tables are set up. There’s a little space in front of the stage for dancing. During the first act The Thin Man, I totally wished I had somebody there to dance with. I would’ve danced with my buddy Pizza, but I’m sure he would’ve wanted to lead. The Thin Man were really good. They had a pretty charismatic singer, a tall guy that looked like Kramer from Seinfeld. He played guitar and accordion. The music was honky tonkish. I liked it. Next to Old Canes, I liked them the best. Back to the venue. So the back of the main floor has a sort of VIP area. These are booths that are raised in tiers so you can sit back there, drink Courvoisier and watch the music. There was nobody back there. Tix for this thing were $10. Three solid bands. A really jamming new venue. There were maybe 100 people there. Has the whole world become somnambulant? Whatever. I can’t hassle it, I don’t like big crowds anyway. Although it would be nice for Old Canes to get some notoriety and make some money. I think I read somewhere that Chris had to sell a guitar cuz he was low on funds, that’s bull.
I was quite happy for the entire show in my booth spot along the side wall. I really liked the sound from there and wasn’t sure if it would improve anywhere else. When Old Canes came out. They started with Taxi on Fremont, which is my favorite song from them. I moved to the main floor assuming it would be better. It wasn’t. The sound was harsher and just plain not as good. So I moved back. After the show I was talking with Rusty, a multi-instrumentalist in Old Canes, kid looked like he was maybe 25, full head of crazy hair, played the upright bass with bow and plucking, played a few other instruments, now he’s on tour. Lucky bastard. I was explaining the sound phenomenon to Rusty and he replied, “That’s weird.” Good talk rus. I never made it up into the balcony. I did get a good sampling of the beer menu. I started with a Cane and Ebel, it was so darn good. Best brew of the night. Next I really wanted a Metropolitan Copper, but they didn’t have it. I went with a Metro Lager and it was a regular beer. Not bad though. Next I went off the map with an Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout. That was nice. Something different. Sippable. My final brew was a Founders Dirty Bastard. It was a Scottish Ale and they pack quite a whallop. Tasty. Although I only had 4 beers, I woke up the next day and felt like crap, that’s the joy of micro brew mixing, sometimes you end up with the perfect concoction for a hangover. It wasn’t bad though. I managed to shake it off by lying in front of the tv watching the bears suck.
A good hayride would happen on a Friday night. Late fall, crisp weather, maybe a jacket required or a thick flannel shirt. You wouldn’t be with your kids, you’d be with your friends, and the girl you were digging on would be there. You’d split a sixer with your friends before the ride and when you got there you’d have a nice buzz going… Everyone is milling about, laughing. Some guy yells, “Hot cider! Get your hot cider.” Johnny comes back with 4 ciders and Fred pulls out a flask of whiskey. The amber liquid nicely tops off each cider and the four of you toast as the moon peeks out from behind some clouds. Jenny walks up, “Whatcha drinkin?” “Cider, you want some.” She takes the cup from your hands and puts it to her lips as her eyes gaze into yours. Everyone is a little tipsy as they load into the haycart. The moon is the only source of light as the cart careens through the forest. Jenny is giving you the eye from across the cart as she makes small talk with her friends. You sit there sipping your cider and getting warm from the inside. A glow appears in the distance. It grows as the cart comes through the forest to a clearing. There’s a bonfire and bales of hay are strewn about for everyone to sit on. There’s a shed out there and people are coming and going from it. The cart stops. Everyone unloads and takes a seat around the fire. Fred taps you in the gut with his flask. You take it, pop the cap and take a healthy gulp. Two men emerge from the shed. One has a guitar, the other a fiddle. They bust into some raucous foot stompin folk and every toe commences to a-tappin. People start to dance. You seize the opportunity to make your move on Jenny. “Would you like to dance?” “You bet sailor.” It’s not graceful, and you’re tipsy, but the two of you are touching and moving and the music is intoxicating. You both take a rest, and time stops as Jenny lays on your shoulder looking up at the sky. You hold her there and just exist. All good things must come to an end. You all pile back on the cart and head home. The only difference is that this time Jenny is sitting next to you and you’re holding hands.
So I hope that gave you a good impression of what Old Canes is all about. They’re basically a rollicking good time. The Mayne Stage is damn fine venue as well. Number one key element? An awesome beer list. If you’ve been to Lincoln hall, the setup is similar. You walk in, make your way to the back, they’ve got the bar there. Then you go through the doors to get into the space. It’s a wide open two story space that is sort of long like the shape of the key on a basketball court. It’s pretty dark, not the best for photography. Everything is brand new and totally posh. Bench style booth seating lines each side of the hall and then there are steps down to the main floor where cocktail tables are set up. There’s a little space in front of the stage for dancing. During the first act The Thin Man, I totally wished I had somebody there to dance with. I would’ve danced with my buddy Pizza, but I’m sure he would’ve wanted to lead. The Thin Man were really good. They had a pretty charismatic singer, a tall guy that looked like Kramer from Seinfeld. He played guitar and accordion. The music was honky tonkish. I liked it. Next to Old Canes, I liked them the best. Back to the venue. So the back of the main floor has a sort of VIP area. These are booths that are raised in tiers so you can sit back there, drink Courvoisier and watch the music. There was nobody back there. Tix for this thing were $10. Three solid bands. A really jamming new venue. There were maybe 100 people there. Has the whole world become somnambulant? Whatever. I can’t hassle it, I don’t like big crowds anyway. Although it would be nice for Old Canes to get some notoriety and make some money. I think I read somewhere that Chris had to sell a guitar cuz he was low on funds, that’s bull.
I was quite happy for the entire show in my booth spot along the side wall. I really liked the sound from there and wasn’t sure if it would improve anywhere else. When Old Canes came out. They started with Taxi on Fremont, which is my favorite song from them. I moved to the main floor assuming it would be better. It wasn’t. The sound was harsher and just plain not as good. So I moved back. After the show I was talking with Rusty, a multi-instrumentalist in Old Canes, kid looked like he was maybe 25, full head of crazy hair, played the upright bass with bow and plucking, played a few other instruments, now he’s on tour. Lucky bastard. I was explaining the sound phenomenon to Rusty and he replied, “That’s weird.” Good talk rus. I never made it up into the balcony. I did get a good sampling of the beer menu. I started with a Cane and Ebel, it was so darn good. Best brew of the night. Next I really wanted a Metropolitan Copper, but they didn’t have it. I went with a Metro Lager and it was a regular beer. Not bad though. Next I went off the map with an Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout. That was nice. Something different. Sippable. My final brew was a Founders Dirty Bastard. It was a Scottish Ale and they pack quite a whallop. Tasty. Although I only had 4 beers, I woke up the next day and felt like crap, that’s the joy of micro brew mixing, sometimes you end up with the perfect concoction for a hangover. It wasn’t bad though. I managed to shake it off by lying in front of the tv watching the bears suck.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Call it what you will
You know what I love about missing the 1040pm train by 10 seconds? You only have to wait an hour for the next one. Last night, that happened to me for the 2nd time in two weeks. Seriously, Metra should give you like a 1 minute grace period to make the train. No official announcement, no hoopla, just they leave a minute late for every train after 8pm. For you naysayers out there, this is not a “But this one goes to 11 scenario.” “It’s a my cabbie sucked,” “I got held up by foot traffic,” “I had to do that last shot” type of thing. I almost said this is a utilitarian change, but it’s more of a common sense change. From a utilitarian perspective, the train should leave on time, because that is the right thing for the largest group of people (those already on the train). I would disagree though, I think the hardship caused to those who barely miss the train is much greater than the collective loss of 1 minute to the whole group. It was me and another dude sprinting for the train. We got there. The train was there. The doors were closed, and it pulled out of the station. J This morning I sent the following e-mail to Metra:
Missing a train by 10 seconds at 1040 at night forces you to wait an hour for the next train. It's brutal and it has happened to me twice in the last week. Can you please keep the trains open until 1041? I don't think the people on the train will feel inconvenienced for the extra minute, and the people who would now just make the train will be overjoyed. You don't need to announce it, just make it an unwritten rule that there is a 1 minute grace period for trains leaving after 8 pm. Thanks.
You might say, “What about the people that get there at 10:41:10 and just miss the train?” I would answer, “It’s not a 1041 train, it’s a 1040 train,” Therefore people who get there at 1041 already know they missed it. If you pop into the station at 1040:30, you know you’re hosed, you might as well grab a beer. But when you are sprinting through the station at 10:39:41, they should cut you some slack.
I was talking with my bro today on the way to work and I hit him with an analogy that went something like this. Remember when you were a kid and you saw a toy on TV and you just wanted it so bad? For me it was Shogun Warriors. Shogun Warriors were these 2 foot tall robots that you could make fight. The commercial made it look like they could shoot things 20 feet and make the other Warrior fall apart; the typical hyped-up visuals that totally misrepresented what the toy did. I don’t think that’s legal anymore. When I was a kid, I really wanted all the Shogun Warriors. I’d go to Toys R Us and look at them in the awesome packaging, all the weapons inside the clear plastic, stuff that looked like hours of fun. I begged my parents for the Shogun Warriors. Finally Christmas came and all I asked for was all 4 Shogun Warriors. On Christmas day I ran down and opened my presents, and sure enough, all 4 Shogun Warriors were there. I ripped open the beautiful packaging knowing that the contents would far exceed the promises made on the box. I put the stickers on and got them all ready. Then I went to roll one (it had wheels on its feet), it didn’t roll. One of them wouldn’t stand up. The other one that was supposed to shoot stars 20 feet only shot them like 2. The hand on one shot off and got lost under the couch. The whole thing was a big let down, it just didn’t measure up to the expectations that I had created in my own mind. The toys looked awesome on TV, the packaging was beautiful and exciting, but the contents were worthless.
I was reading today about Inez Sainz being in Playboy. She got offered a photo spread and turned it down. When I was a kid, I wanted everyone to be in Playboy. It’s like Farrah Fawcett, “When’s she gonna be in Playboy?” Anyone with a modicum of celebrity, and an awesome face/body, it was like “When is she gonna be in Playboy?” Not much changes. Tiger’s Mistress, the woman who brought down Spitzer, some woman in the military, you name it, people want to see them nude. Same with this woman who had the locker room issue. She’s hot, and I’d love to see her naked, but it’s just a weird concept. Oh, you got messed with in a locker room? You’re hot? Let’s see you nude. “Oh well, I’m nationally recognized now, and basically all people want is to see me naked, Playboy offered me a lot of money, I guess I’ll do it.” I know it makes sense to cash in and I would never begrudge a person the opportunity to take their fleeting celebrity to the bank, but I guess there is a self respect issue and a general idiocy of the whole idea issue. The only reason anyone cares about the whole debacle is because Inez is hot. The only payoff anyone really wants is to see her naked. I don’t think I’m doing a good job expressing the oddness inherent in this thing. I gotta ruminate on it, while I glance through a playboy.
Missing a train by 10 seconds at 1040 at night forces you to wait an hour for the next train. It's brutal and it has happened to me twice in the last week. Can you please keep the trains open until 1041? I don't think the people on the train will feel inconvenienced for the extra minute, and the people who would now just make the train will be overjoyed. You don't need to announce it, just make it an unwritten rule that there is a 1 minute grace period for trains leaving after 8 pm. Thanks.
You might say, “What about the people that get there at 10:41:10 and just miss the train?” I would answer, “It’s not a 1041 train, it’s a 1040 train,” Therefore people who get there at 1041 already know they missed it. If you pop into the station at 1040:30, you know you’re hosed, you might as well grab a beer. But when you are sprinting through the station at 10:39:41, they should cut you some slack.
I was talking with my bro today on the way to work and I hit him with an analogy that went something like this. Remember when you were a kid and you saw a toy on TV and you just wanted it so bad? For me it was Shogun Warriors. Shogun Warriors were these 2 foot tall robots that you could make fight. The commercial made it look like they could shoot things 20 feet and make the other Warrior fall apart; the typical hyped-up visuals that totally misrepresented what the toy did. I don’t think that’s legal anymore. When I was a kid, I really wanted all the Shogun Warriors. I’d go to Toys R Us and look at them in the awesome packaging, all the weapons inside the clear plastic, stuff that looked like hours of fun. I begged my parents for the Shogun Warriors. Finally Christmas came and all I asked for was all 4 Shogun Warriors. On Christmas day I ran down and opened my presents, and sure enough, all 4 Shogun Warriors were there. I ripped open the beautiful packaging knowing that the contents would far exceed the promises made on the box. I put the stickers on and got them all ready. Then I went to roll one (it had wheels on its feet), it didn’t roll. One of them wouldn’t stand up. The other one that was supposed to shoot stars 20 feet only shot them like 2. The hand on one shot off and got lost under the couch. The whole thing was a big let down, it just didn’t measure up to the expectations that I had created in my own mind. The toys looked awesome on TV, the packaging was beautiful and exciting, but the contents were worthless.
I was reading today about Inez Sainz being in Playboy. She got offered a photo spread and turned it down. When I was a kid, I wanted everyone to be in Playboy. It’s like Farrah Fawcett, “When’s she gonna be in Playboy?” Anyone with a modicum of celebrity, and an awesome face/body, it was like “When is she gonna be in Playboy?” Not much changes. Tiger’s Mistress, the woman who brought down Spitzer, some woman in the military, you name it, people want to see them nude. Same with this woman who had the locker room issue. She’s hot, and I’d love to see her naked, but it’s just a weird concept. Oh, you got messed with in a locker room? You’re hot? Let’s see you nude. “Oh well, I’m nationally recognized now, and basically all people want is to see me naked, Playboy offered me a lot of money, I guess I’ll do it.” I know it makes sense to cash in and I would never begrudge a person the opportunity to take their fleeting celebrity to the bank, but I guess there is a self respect issue and a general idiocy of the whole idea issue. The only reason anyone cares about the whole debacle is because Inez is hot. The only payoff anyone really wants is to see her naked. I don’t think I’m doing a good job expressing the oddness inherent in this thing. I gotta ruminate on it, while I glance through a playboy.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Riot Fizzle
Geez life is a roller coaster sometimes. Either that, or my brain just makes it into one. I’m feeling an unbelievable amount better, which is nice. It was really weird yesterday. For those that don’t know. OG dumped me a second time. On Friday. Before Riot Fest. Sorta dampened the mood at Riot fest and for the rest of the weekend. I started coming out of the funk yesterday. After work, on my walk to the train I felt pretty energized and amped. Then on the train I had a feeling of euphoria that maybe I’ve never experienced. It was really, really, weird. I wasn’t going to hassle it. I think my body was just saying, you’re all out of the negative stuff, we gotta burn some positive. I felt like a trillion suns. I don’t know how to describe it. I had also just submitted a giant project at work that has been sorta meandering along for 10 months. That probably helped a bit. I didn’t feel like going out like a punk bitch, so I asked OG if I could talk to her. We scheduled it for last night. A lot of people told me that I didn’t have anything to gain by talking to her, but like I said, I ain’t going out like that. I called her and eventually we got to talking. She had to go for work, but said she’d call me back. She did call me back and I just basically wanted to say my piece and move on. I said what I had to say. Then we both just started blabbing and 2 hours later I dunno what is going on. So that’s that.
This morning I was still feeling pretty good. I got off the train and was geeked for my walk into work. I like the cooler weather and the decrease in foot traffic. As I exited the train station, I saw my man that gives out the red eye newspaper. He’s a funny dude. He jaws at everybody and sometimes I say hey or something extra which he seems to dig. So when he gave me my red eye I said, “Good Morning, thanks.” And he shouts out, “Morning Hometeam, are you still playin?!” I said, “Yep!” Pretty sweet. The girl walking next to me looked at me like I was nuts tho.
Well this year’s Riot Fest and Last Year’s are really a study in contrasts. The big problem with this year is that there weren’t as many great bands. Much to my good fortune, all the bands I wanted to see were playing Congress on Friday. Bad Religion being the big one. I hope you guys read the Bad Sandwich Chronicles yesterday about Greg Graffin from BR, a punk diva, that’s hilarious. “No Boots, No show.” I love that stuff. Who would’ve known. I don’t want to go into the whole sordid story of what happened before the show, but I got dumped, that’s all you need to know. I turned to my stalwart, someone I knew would come through. Someone affectionately known as Nomis. I called nomer and asked if he could come to the show, that I had an extra tick. Well his wife was out, he had the kids, etc., but he pulled it off. So Nomer was in, I wouldn’t be alone, but Off with their heads was coming on at 630, so I had to get there. I cruised straight to the Congress. Parked on the street and went in. The place was only like .3 full when I got there, a sparse crowd. I wasn’t sure if it was gonna be an off year or what. I did not see anyone that I recognized from the previous year. There were a lot of sweet punks though, liberty spikes, Mohawks, mullets, the whole nine yards. Lotta kids too. Lotta parents with kids. The typical mishmash of people. I go over and check out the merch and there is only one thing that I want to buy. I don’t have any money, but there was an off with their heads hoodie that was beyond words. Try as I might, I can’t find a pic of it. I go in and check out this band the X is for Eyes. They weren’t bad. Typical Chicago type punk.
I have to mention that during X is, my buddy called me up and that was way cool. I sent out word that I got dumped and he rang me up. I’m at a punk show, alone, post dumpage, that really lifted me up. I grabbed a piece of pizza for dinner. It was nasty. Then I went back in for OWTH. At this point I’m like screw it, I’m getting a beer. Which I did. Then I went right up front for OWTH. They are awesome, not quite as amazing as when my buddy and I heard them at Liar’s club last year, but I’ll def check them anytime they are in town. The bouncing souls were next. I figured might as well hang in the balcony for that one. They played, they were good. Typical Socal type of stuff. You can tell when they play their classics, and they were good. I’ll def check them out on emusic and maybe DL some of their stuff. After TBS, I noticed that they were selling high life cans upstairs. Score (they weren’t selling them downstairs and I had to drink a stella). HL cans were 5 bucks I think a 16 oz stella was 8, by my math the Stella is a hosejob. Next was The Circle Jerks. Keith Morris, the lead singer of the Circle Jerks, was the original singer of Black Flag. I’m guessing he wrote wasted cuz TCJ played it and put it on an album. They played all their favorites: Wild in the streets, Wasted, World up my ass, Deny Everything, some other stuff. I have to say, for like a 50 year old dude KM could still bring it. He could sing the songs just as snarly, just as fast, it was awesome. I’d def catch TCJ if they come back to town.
Two bands left. Local Heroes The Lawrence Arms were up next. It seemed like there were a lot of people really amped to catch TLA. The kids were up. TLA came out and Brendan (author of BSC) really has an everyman approach which I think fans find accessible, it’s endearing and it really makes you root for them. It’s really hard for me to be up on their whole catalog, but most of the kids around me knew the words to every song. They didn’t play abracadaver, which is one of my faves, but they played Turnstiles, 100 Resolutions (awesome song), and Ramblin boys of Pleasure where the whole crowd was shouting along “Things have changed, things have changed forever…we’re the rambling boys of pleasure.” Sometime in there nomis showed up. I got him his tick, he came in, we embraced, grabbed beers. He brought earplugs, which were a welcome addition, then we cruised down and caught the end of TLA.
I forget what we talked about between TLA and Bad Religion, but the sets turned over quick and I guess they found Greg Graffin’s boots cuz Bad Religion came right out. GG looked awesome, just like it was described in BSC, he had some kind of Fred Perry golf shirt on, black pants, a beer gut, bald head, he looked like he would be at home in a dingy old golf clubhouse as much as in front of the world’s best punk rock band. I guess BR are celebrating their 30th anniversary. Pretty huge. They played for probably an hour and brought it with such hits as: I want to conquer the world, no control, 20th century digital boy, infected, We’re only gonna die, Atomic Garden, Generator, and many more. It kicked ass. Nomis seemed to enjoy himself. After the dust settled I noted that Off With Their Heads were going to be playing at Exit at midnight. He said, “Didn’t you just see them?” To which I replied, “yes.” He had to go to a dentist appointment at 8am, and as a little gift to the hygienist, we decided to grab some burritos right by the Congress. Surprisingly, there were only like 10 people in the place, everyone else probably went to the next spot. We grabbed some grub, talked about the old times, it was way cool. Then we parted ways.
This morning I was still feeling pretty good. I got off the train and was geeked for my walk into work. I like the cooler weather and the decrease in foot traffic. As I exited the train station, I saw my man that gives out the red eye newspaper. He’s a funny dude. He jaws at everybody and sometimes I say hey or something extra which he seems to dig. So when he gave me my red eye I said, “Good Morning, thanks.” And he shouts out, “Morning Hometeam, are you still playin?!” I said, “Yep!” Pretty sweet. The girl walking next to me looked at me like I was nuts tho.
Well this year’s Riot Fest and Last Year’s are really a study in contrasts. The big problem with this year is that there weren’t as many great bands. Much to my good fortune, all the bands I wanted to see were playing Congress on Friday. Bad Religion being the big one. I hope you guys read the Bad Sandwich Chronicles yesterday about Greg Graffin from BR, a punk diva, that’s hilarious. “No Boots, No show.” I love that stuff. Who would’ve known. I don’t want to go into the whole sordid story of what happened before the show, but I got dumped, that’s all you need to know. I turned to my stalwart, someone I knew would come through. Someone affectionately known as Nomis. I called nomer and asked if he could come to the show, that I had an extra tick. Well his wife was out, he had the kids, etc., but he pulled it off. So Nomer was in, I wouldn’t be alone, but Off with their heads was coming on at 630, so I had to get there. I cruised straight to the Congress. Parked on the street and went in. The place was only like .3 full when I got there, a sparse crowd. I wasn’t sure if it was gonna be an off year or what. I did not see anyone that I recognized from the previous year. There were a lot of sweet punks though, liberty spikes, Mohawks, mullets, the whole nine yards. Lotta kids too. Lotta parents with kids. The typical mishmash of people. I go over and check out the merch and there is only one thing that I want to buy. I don’t have any money, but there was an off with their heads hoodie that was beyond words. Try as I might, I can’t find a pic of it. I go in and check out this band the X is for Eyes. They weren’t bad. Typical Chicago type punk.
I have to mention that during X is, my buddy called me up and that was way cool. I sent out word that I got dumped and he rang me up. I’m at a punk show, alone, post dumpage, that really lifted me up. I grabbed a piece of pizza for dinner. It was nasty. Then I went back in for OWTH. At this point I’m like screw it, I’m getting a beer. Which I did. Then I went right up front for OWTH. They are awesome, not quite as amazing as when my buddy and I heard them at Liar’s club last year, but I’ll def check them anytime they are in town. The bouncing souls were next. I figured might as well hang in the balcony for that one. They played, they were good. Typical Socal type of stuff. You can tell when they play their classics, and they were good. I’ll def check them out on emusic and maybe DL some of their stuff. After TBS, I noticed that they were selling high life cans upstairs. Score (they weren’t selling them downstairs and I had to drink a stella). HL cans were 5 bucks I think a 16 oz stella was 8, by my math the Stella is a hosejob. Next was The Circle Jerks. Keith Morris, the lead singer of the Circle Jerks, was the original singer of Black Flag. I’m guessing he wrote wasted cuz TCJ played it and put it on an album. They played all their favorites: Wild in the streets, Wasted, World up my ass, Deny Everything, some other stuff. I have to say, for like a 50 year old dude KM could still bring it. He could sing the songs just as snarly, just as fast, it was awesome. I’d def catch TCJ if they come back to town.
Two bands left. Local Heroes The Lawrence Arms were up next. It seemed like there were a lot of people really amped to catch TLA. The kids were up. TLA came out and Brendan (author of BSC) really has an everyman approach which I think fans find accessible, it’s endearing and it really makes you root for them. It’s really hard for me to be up on their whole catalog, but most of the kids around me knew the words to every song. They didn’t play abracadaver, which is one of my faves, but they played Turnstiles, 100 Resolutions (awesome song), and Ramblin boys of Pleasure where the whole crowd was shouting along “Things have changed, things have changed forever…we’re the rambling boys of pleasure.” Sometime in there nomis showed up. I got him his tick, he came in, we embraced, grabbed beers. He brought earplugs, which were a welcome addition, then we cruised down and caught the end of TLA.
I forget what we talked about between TLA and Bad Religion, but the sets turned over quick and I guess they found Greg Graffin’s boots cuz Bad Religion came right out. GG looked awesome, just like it was described in BSC, he had some kind of Fred Perry golf shirt on, black pants, a beer gut, bald head, he looked like he would be at home in a dingy old golf clubhouse as much as in front of the world’s best punk rock band. I guess BR are celebrating their 30th anniversary. Pretty huge. They played for probably an hour and brought it with such hits as: I want to conquer the world, no control, 20th century digital boy, infected, We’re only gonna die, Atomic Garden, Generator, and many more. It kicked ass. Nomis seemed to enjoy himself. After the dust settled I noted that Off With Their Heads were going to be playing at Exit at midnight. He said, “Didn’t you just see them?” To which I replied, “yes.” He had to go to a dentist appointment at 8am, and as a little gift to the hygienist, we decided to grab some burritos right by the Congress. Surprisingly, there were only like 10 people in the place, everyone else probably went to the next spot. We grabbed some grub, talked about the old times, it was way cool. Then we parted ways.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Appletown
It’s weird how things work out. Last night I was way jonesin to send Old Girl a text. I was just gonna check in and say hey. I am curious if she is going to see the National or not. I’m kinda thinking it was wasteful to trash the connection, even if it only turned out to be friends or whatever. It was good to think about it and put it into perspective for the future. It’s just tough to work new friends into the picture. I’m sure if we decided to be friends the outcome would be the same, I’d never hear from her again. On the Nat tix tip, I sold the tix for $200. I feel a smidge guilty about it, cuz I’ve seen people trying to sell them for $45/each since then. Cha-ching. Nothing like a good scalp to get your blood pumping. I also need to give some money to the theater, so I’m hoping to have some of the 200 left over for that. Yeah, I don’t have the tix anymore, so I felt like there was less riding on the text. I dunno, at the end of the day, she’s not interested and I shouldn’t be. I think I’m slowly coming to that conclusion. Very slowly, I know. So last night I’m dead tired from the weekend, I wasn’t thinking about contacting old girl, I just went online to check my e-mail. I check e-mail and I get a message from this new girl I’m digging. That was cool. So I got on OKC to read the message and I get an instant message from some other girl. I’m just like WTF. While I’m IMing with this girl, I’m also responding to new girl. Then I get an IM on Yahoo and it’s the punk girl. I think someone was trying to send me a message, “why fret over what is gone, when there is so much here.” Seriously too, I’m not even trying. I send, at most, 5 e-mails a week, I’m sure there are guys that send 50 a week. It was cool though. Old girl and I did not have a lot in common. The new girl I’m e-mailing with is really into music. She is a photographer for Spin magazine. From what I can tell from her pictures, she is absolutely gorgeous too. Always good. I dunno what’s up with the other girls, the new IM girl didn’t have a picture on her profile, def a red flag.
I just want to make a quick comparison between Punk Girl and Old Girl, Punk Girl has tracked me down a few times and asked what’s up (kinda like what I did to OG). She’s shown that she’s interested. I’m not asking for the world, I just did not get the vibe from OG, in fact the vibe I did get was “I won’t mind if you just go away.”
In my quest to blow all the money I made on the National tix and not give it to the Theater, I am going to see Roger Waters tonight. I’m containing my expectations, although part of me def thinks it’s gonna be off the heezle. There should be a nutty light show and they should build a wall and break it down. I dunno, mass hysteria. If the show was unhooked back in 1980, it should be a mindblowing event in 2010. We can do so much more with less now than we could then. We have lasers, phasers, snuggies, robots, flowbees, and cgi. I’m expecting Jar Jar Binks to appear on the stage 20 feet high and walk off into the crowd. Or something like that. Getting the tix was no mean feat. I had to deal with Leroy from Dekalb. Dude seemed like an ok guy. Then he called me at midnight last night. “You gave me a bum address.” “No I didn’t, that’s what my buddy told me and he’s been living there for 11 years. Are you on Ohio?” “No.” “The place is on Ohio.” Whateves. I am working on minimal sleep though, which sucks. I guess tomorrow night I’ll get 7 hours. That would be wonderful. The tix were a bargain though. Well below face. I think face w/ fees was like $70, we got our tix for $45/each. Good times. Not a bad swap, Roger Waters performing the Wall, for The National. I’d do that any day, I might not feel the same way tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure I will.
That was a bummer that the guy on the Broncos killed himself. It’s crazy. I don’t know if people just have mental problems, or what, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is tough though. It’s more than some people can handle. I don’t know what was going on in this guy’s life, but he must’ve felt pretty hopeless. I think I’ve gone off on this topic before so I don’t feel like rehashing stuff I already said. Life is tough though. It’s more than some people can handle.
I just want to make a quick comparison between Punk Girl and Old Girl, Punk Girl has tracked me down a few times and asked what’s up (kinda like what I did to OG). She’s shown that she’s interested. I’m not asking for the world, I just did not get the vibe from OG, in fact the vibe I did get was “I won’t mind if you just go away.”
In my quest to blow all the money I made on the National tix and not give it to the Theater, I am going to see Roger Waters tonight. I’m containing my expectations, although part of me def thinks it’s gonna be off the heezle. There should be a nutty light show and they should build a wall and break it down. I dunno, mass hysteria. If the show was unhooked back in 1980, it should be a mindblowing event in 2010. We can do so much more with less now than we could then. We have lasers, phasers, snuggies, robots, flowbees, and cgi. I’m expecting Jar Jar Binks to appear on the stage 20 feet high and walk off into the crowd. Or something like that. Getting the tix was no mean feat. I had to deal with Leroy from Dekalb. Dude seemed like an ok guy. Then he called me at midnight last night. “You gave me a bum address.” “No I didn’t, that’s what my buddy told me and he’s been living there for 11 years. Are you on Ohio?” “No.” “The place is on Ohio.” Whateves. I am working on minimal sleep though, which sucks. I guess tomorrow night I’ll get 7 hours. That would be wonderful. The tix were a bargain though. Well below face. I think face w/ fees was like $70, we got our tix for $45/each. Good times. Not a bad swap, Roger Waters performing the Wall, for The National. I’d do that any day, I might not feel the same way tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure I will.
That was a bummer that the guy on the Broncos killed himself. It’s crazy. I don’t know if people just have mental problems, or what, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is tough though. It’s more than some people can handle. I don’t know what was going on in this guy’s life, but he must’ve felt pretty hopeless. I think I’ve gone off on this topic before so I don’t feel like rehashing stuff I already said. Life is tough though. It’s more than some people can handle.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)